Funnily enough, I now sort of blog for a living. I could say that’s why my public, personal blog hasn’t been updated. But it’s more that the reality of having a public blog hit me a few months ago. It’s not like I post all my musics, lofty dreams I’m secretly scared to admit, voice recordings I want to fashion into podcasts, or wish lists for material and immaterial desires. But I want to.
This also isn’t me saying that 2018 is the year I’m going to start posting these things. I recently moved back to America to start an exciting, creative job in a new industry. The excitement of finding a new home, decorating, reuniting with some of my dearest friends, finally feeling like I have time to relax, and ridding myself of impermanence anxiety wore off after the first month. Now, I go through waves of sadness. I sorely miss London and many people who are scattered around the world. As much as I hate being the person who says “No, you don’t get it,” I have become that person. Not including the other Americans who were in my grad program, most people have not spent almost 2 years living abroad before willingly returning to a country led by…a cheeto.
Okay, so my emotions about moving back are complicated at best and panic attack-inducing at worst. I live alone in a studio apartment now. I drive instead of taking the tube. I don’t have a schedule full of friend hangouts and fun. I actually WANT to spend nights in. And I’ve grown wary of unwanted attention from Instagram & Facebook, so I’ve become private. WHICH ISN’T ME AT ALL. I used to blab and my friend even called me Madrama because there was always a new story. Mainly, I don’t feel myself. Eventually, I’ll adjust to this new way of life. It’s just going to take longer this time around.
However, I want to use my newfound alone time to properly do the things I enjoy. So, I figured I’d leave a list here to remind myself of all the things I can do when I feel nostalgic. This isn’t a New Years Resolutions thing. As determined as I am to make 2018 a success, I just want to feel content.
- DIY some sort of home decor
- Casually browse Craigslist for hidden gems
- Yoga with Adrienne
- Buy magazines to collage with
- Sketch a celebrity or scene from a movie
- Hike Zilker/Redbud Isle and pet the dogs
- Buy a new plant baby
- Binge watch Parks and Recreation
- Call a long-distance friend or family member to catch up
- Make a list of exciting things to look forward to + be thankful for
- Listen to woke podcasts
- Goodwill. Duh.
- WRITE FOR YOURSELF. Anything. Short story. Diary. Fanfiction lol.
- Clean through my laptop files, backup all my electronics, do all those things I’ve been putting off really
- Make a one-on-one hang with a local friend
P.S. Happy holidays ❤